Reviewed
12/04

Hours: Lunch 12-2:30pm daily; Dinner 6-11:30pm (6pm-12am, Friday and Saturday)

After eating at Opium Den, I realized just how aptly named it is: the only way such a restaurant could stay in business would be to have a little drug trade on the side. Walking to the end of George Street on any evening out, you could peek in and see the place practically empty, since mediocre food and high prices naturally deter the discriminating students and academics for which Oxford is renowned.

I will admit that Opium Den has all the physical requirements for a lovely dinner: ample space, soft lighting, and tasteful paintings of anonymous Chinese ladies with which one can show off a flair for aesthetic criticism. The tablecloths are of good quality, and after dealing with strangely plasticky paper serviettes at other restaurants, cloth napkins are delightful. They're even folded into a clever shape.

Unfortunately, I go to restaurants with eating in mind, eating well in fact, and this is what you cannot do at Opium Den. The waitress took our order immediately, which was great, but she also came back with it immediately, which was worrisome. Dinner for five people should not take three minutes to prepare.

I ordered Chicken Teriyaki (a Japanese dish, priced at £6.80), and it was entirely too wet - the syrupy, overly sweet sauce trying valiantly to hide the rather poor quality, stringy chicken. When I asked one friend what he thought of his Beef in Black Bean Sauce (£7.60), he said that it was on the borderline of okay, but entirely forgettable. Another reported that the Chicken with Cashew Nuts - Peking Style (£6.80) was good, but described the sauce as basic.

There were also issues with the fried rice. One of my friends ordered chicken fried rice for her meal, and definitely did not get enough to eat, even though she paid £4.80. My other three dinner companions each ordered a side of fried rice for £2.20, and the waitress brought an inordinately small bowl from which they were told to share.

To top it all off, they didn't even give us plates. We had to use tiny bowls that seemed designed for drinking tea rather than eating dinner! Chinese chopsticks are also often vexing, being plastic, rectangular and entirely too long (Japanese chopsticks are generally shorter, pointed wooden cylinders). Of course, Chinese restaurants can't help this fact, but our waitress didn't even offer us forks or spoons.

Paying about £12 each for at best unremarkable, at worst unpleasant food is certainly not my idea of a good night out. If you're after Chinese food, I would recommend the Noodle Bar, where at least the relative mediocrity of the food is candidly admitted and even ameliorated by the quick, friendly service and low prices.  Opium Den certainly doesn't recommend itself for eating, but then again, who knows what goes on in the back room.

Lindsay Oishi