Vampires Rock is a thinly veiled excuse to give the audience a couple of hours of classic rock, performed with full light show and thigh-bare dancing ladies. All your old favourites will make an appearance (Meatloaf, AC/DC, Queen, Guns and Roses), and as long as you don’t take anything too seriously you will certainly have a jolly old time.

The quality of the band and support singers was really excellent. Tight, practised and full of stage presence, they pulled off all the hits with ease, energy and fun. Special mention has to go to Sam Bailey (of X-factor fame), who was absolutely masterful. Her full, well controlled and pitch-perfect voice carried every song with power and feeling, really doing justice to the classics.

The same can’t, I’m afraid, be said for Steve Steinman himself, whose mic control wasn’t great and who couldn’t quite deliver on the more complex vocal requirements. I got the impression that, although he was clearly enjoying himself, Steinman no longer felt the need to try very hard.

In terms of plot, the story was about a vampire Baron searching for a new Queen while pursued by… oh it really doesn’t matter. Any vague narrative was just a tool to crowbar in cheesy music-based puns and panto-level cringey humour. I kid you not, it actually got to the point of the audience shouting ‘it’s behind you’. Combined with the dancing girls and a scene where a schoolgirl’s uniformed is ripped off before a love song, the result was a show that felt somewhat dated and left me feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Don’t get me wrong, I did have a good time. I really enjoyed most of the songs and I liked the excuse to have some simple, cheesy fun. I guess in the end, being self aware was not enough to save Steinman’s show from being self indulgent. No regrets in going, but I’m not sure I’ll be going again.