Sitting here in the office with the sun shining outside, contemplating an ideal day in Oxford, my mind is so full of fun possibilities that it's hard to imagine cramming them into sixteen or so hours, especially given that one of the nicest things you can do round here is spend an afternoon lying on the grass in your park of choice with a bottle of Cava and a cryptic crossword. Assuming you've got limited time in the city and actually want to do some stuff, I'd suggest the following:

Rise early. Work up an appetite with a stroll (or a run) round Christ Church meadow, hopefully while the mist is still hanging over the water, and look out for crazy people rowing instead of sleeping (or strolling), then breakfast at the Grand Café on the High Street. It's arguably somewhat overpriced, but offers low-key elegance in terms of menu and decor, with a nice line in lethal coffee. Having hopefully survived the coffee, pop into a couple of nearby colleges (clap at the mound in New College and graze with the deer in Magdalen), before continuing on a round of sightseeing. Other people have recommended the Pitt Rivers Museum on this page, and they're not wrong - it's wonderful - also the Bodleian Library, the Covered Market, Blackwell's Bookshop, St Mary's Church, Modern Art Oxford, and of course lots of the other colleges, are well worth visiting. Consider trying a walking tour - a good way of absorbing lots of historical titbits, taken with a pinch of salt. Stop off at intervals for lunch in the garden of the Vaults and Garden café on Radcliffe Square, or a pint at the Bear, the Turf or the Eagle and Child. Finish up by wearing your legs out for good and all at the fabulous new-look Ashmolean, working your way up to the roof terrace for a well-deserved round of tea and cake.

Now go home, relax - then put on your sparkly eye make up and go out for dinner in East Oxford at the Magdalen Arms, (or try Fishers, Aziz, Door 74). Yes, they're right about Moya too. Eat lots - you've earned the calories. For the evening's entertainment, I'm not really qualified to recommend gigs or clubs; after such a busy day I'd rather split the evening between a couple of favourite pubs: If you're a bar person I'd try Kazbar on Cowley Road, but I'd probably usually recommend the Fir Tree on Iffley Road and the the Half Moon on St Clements, where you'll hopefully come across a lively folk music night.

Stumble home at two in the morning singing snatches of traditional ballads and vowing to take up the fiddle. Sleep.

In order to thoroughly experience Oxford, you have to embrace both sides of the city: Town and Gown. The University tends (unsurprisingly) to dominate guidebooks, but you’re missing out if you just stick to the museums and colleges.

Start the day with the best the “Town” has to offer: an artery-hardening breakfast at the St. Giles' Café, then a stroll down the High Street. Here you can window-shop for impossibly expensive silverware, antiques and the sort of clothes you can only buy if you’ve got a double-barrelled name and at least one title. Console yourself with a milkshake from Moo-Moo’s in the Covered Market. Alpha Bar’s salads and Pieminister’s pies are both perfect examples of often-disappointing dishes, and make an ideal lunch! Now, time to try the "Gown" side of things by visting the famous Oxford colleges.

Wear a pair of pyjamas and carry a large pile of books under one arm and a bottle of Pimms under the other. College porters will assume you are a student, and let you in without charging a ruinous entrance fee. Older visitors can replace the pyjamas with tweed and the Pimms with sherry to impersonate a don instead. As well as the usual suspects of Magdalen, Christ Church (the “Harry Potter college”) and Merton, try Worcester’s lake, the Woody Allen gargoyle in Teddy Hall, and The Light of the World in Keble College Chapel.

Continue your student experience (and put that Pimms to good use), by heading to Magdalen Bridge for a spot of punting; if it’s a terrible day, so much the better! Unimpeded by tourists travelling in slow circles in the middle of the river, you should be able to get the punt up to a full speed of 2, perhaps 2 ½ mph. See our guide to punting for more information on how not to fall in (or, if you must fall in, how to do so in the most dignified manner possible).

Once towelled off, stroll across Magdalen Bridge and down Cowley Road and appreciate how the other half of Oxford lives; if the fantastic street art and vibrant international atmosphere don’t draw you in, the most important place in Oxford should. If you have time, head up to Headington to check out their famous shark, buried head first in a house. Eating places to watch out for are retro-chic diner Atomic Burger and authentic pizzeria Mario’s. If you’re feeling brave, try the Red Star Spice Challenge, and have your photo put alongside those of spice lovers and macho posturers from across the world.

To tackle the feeling that your throat is about to burst into flames, head out for a cocktail. It would be unfair to single out one particular Oxford cocktail bar as especially excellent: Kazbar, Café Tarifa, the Grand Café, Raoul’s, the Duke of Cambridge and Angels are all worth a try. More importantly, all of these establishments have different Happy Hours, so get the timing right and you won’t pay full price for a drink all night.

To inject a final touch of authentic student colour into your visit, get a late-night snack at one of Oxford’s (in)famous kebab vans. Cheesy chips are probably safest, but a chicken, egg and cheese burger will, once tried, never be forgotten.

Walk through New College Lane to look at the gargoyles, then, if fine: buy a basketful of goodies (from Maison Blanc or Gatineau, Manos or the Co Op plus or minus alcohol from Oddbins), and punt from the Cherwell Boathouse to the Vicky Arms for lunch. If wet: the recently revamped Ashmolean for Art, the University Museum for Nature or the Pitt Rivers for all kinds of human weirdness. Or if your visitor prefers their nature a bit more animated, to the Goldfish Bowl on Magdalen Road - one of Europe's leading aquarium shops, it's almost as good as the zoo. Or, your companion may prefer the elegant simplicity of a day spent gently lurching between the Turf Tavern, the Angel and Greyhound and the King's Arms.

I'd plan to return in the evening to a concert or play (preferably in one of the colleges in order to show off the unique architecture and student vibe). Edamamé, a Japanese restaurant of amazing food and unusual opening hours, is good for a brisk meal if you're trying to fit a lot into an evening (you may have to queue but it usually moves swiftly). If you decide to skip culture for the evening, and especially if your visitor eats meat or fish, you mustn't miss Moya, that jewel of Oxford dining. Civilised yet unpretentious, with beautiful dishes intelligently designed and exquisitely cooked. If it's a Sunday night, and if neither of you have to work the next day, you could finish up with the folk night at the Half Moon.

Oxford Playhouse and Live Canon theatre makers have combined to produce an audio tour of Oxford, featuring some of its most iconic locations, and the poetry they have inspired.

The tour takes approximately an hour, but there is plenty of time to stop, enjoy the read more...