It seems almost impossible to imagine now, but when director Lulu Wang first pitched her debut feature film The Farewell to producers, nobody would finance it. The pitch feels almost too good to pass up: A Chinese family decides to keep a terminal cancer diagnosis from their matriarch and reunites under the guise of a wedding to be with her one last time. Some years ago, the bait didn’t lure any investors. Now, The Farewell has become one of the most acclaimed indie films of the year.
Billi (Awkwafina), a Chinese-American writer, lives in New York City, where she’s struggling to find both her artistic and financial footing. She is close with her parents and her grandmother, known as Nai Nai, whom she chats to regularly on the phone. One day, Billi gets traumatic news: Nai Nai has stage IV lung cancer and only has a few months to live. What’s more, the family has decided not to tell Nai Nai that she’s dying. An incredulous Billi is told that in China it is customary that families keep terminal diagnoses from their loved ones, because they believe the fear of death kills them far faster than any disease ever could. In order to bring the entire family together one last time, everyone reconvenes in Changchun for a wedding.
To a Western audience the plot may seem almost unbelievable. Billi herself, who has spent almost her entire life in America, can’t wrap her head around the willingness of her parents, aunts, and uncles to keep such a secret from her grandmother. She only grudgingly goes along with it and doesn’t do much to hide her sadness in front of Nai Nai.
Nai Nai in turn is determined to host a large wedding banquet for her grandson, constantly moving with energy and grace. She is the head of her family and provides them with both nurturing warmth and sharp tongue-lashings. Shuzhen Zhao plays her with such conviction that you never question it when each of her family members momentarily falters, overwhelmed by the knowledge that she won’t be among them much longer. The connection she has with Billi is portrayed beautifully by Awkwafina’s performance. Mainly known for her comedic work, Awkwafina steers clear of ever raising her trademark hoarse voice. She plays Billi as an introvert with slouched shoulder, who carries scars from being stuck between two cultures and not feeling entirely at home in either. The camera often lingers on her face and though it sometimes feels a little repetitive, she remains infinitely mesmerizing throughout the film.
It would be easy for the film to manipulate the audience with teary declarations, but instead of being emotionally overbearing, The Farewell sometimes feels surprisingly detached. Its characters are always just a step removed, as if we were never meant to inhabit them, but simply glance over their shoulder. There is too much distance for such intimate material and the story offers little insight into its main characters. Especially Billi, whose story we’re ostensibly following, isn’t given much inner life to examine. It is never quite clear whether we’re supposed to root for her. The film shines most when it focuses on the relationship between Billi and her mother, two people who fail to communicate because they feel they view the world too differently. But instead of examining such family complexities further, the film darts back out, as if these topics were too personal to portray.
The Farewell is the kind of film that stands out in today’s cinematic landscape, with its slow pace and refusal to adhere to traditional plot driven story structure. It is a quiet, heartfelt film that shows the sorrow as well as the humorous aspects of dealing with family. After you leave the cinema, you will want to call your grandparents, to let them know how much you appreciate them.